


Broken Bones and Jazz Records

by Alice (Fnaffangirl227)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Broken Bones, Casey is a cutiepie like always, Dave has super bones, Fluff and Humor, Humor, John just deals with Dave’s bullshit; he loves his bro, Medical Conditions, Not many people read this before I posted it so...this might be total shit lol, Phone Calls & Telephones, also if there’s any lore problems just know that I never finished homestuck, don’t worry most discussion about the broken bones isn’t very graphic, im not selling this well am i? lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-18 16:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18253721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fnaffangirl227/pseuds/Alice
Summary: “So, anyway I broke both of my arms in a freak crow accident” John had heard a lot of shit come from his friend’s mouth; a lot of it long and nonsensical but this was the first time John was shocked by something Dave had said in years.“E-excuse me?” John stuttered a bit; dumbfounded by his friend’s predicament.





	Broken Bones and Jazz Records

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by something dumb I said on discord. I would tell you the quote but I just want to get this posted so I can go back to *reading* fanfiction and not *writing* it
> 
> So, anyway here’s wonderwall

“So, anyway I broke both of my arms in a freak crow accident” John had heard a lot of shit come from his friend’s mouth; a lot of it long and nonsensical but this was the first time John was shocked by something Dave had said in  _ years.  _

 

_ “ _ E-excuse me?” John stuttered a bit; dumbfounded by his friend’s predicament.

 

“A disgusting flying rat was on my windowsill and long story short; both of my arms are broken. Can we get back to your dorky Nic Cage ramblings?” Dave sounded as nonchalant as he usually was; not even caring that he broke his arms, Which just...why?, and breezed past the arm stuff.

 

“That’s not how...how are you on the phone?” John pinched the bridge of his nose. He sighed heavily as he moved his phone to his shoulder so he could tell Jade about the dumb shit Dave just told him.

 

“Speaker” Dave sounded like he was a little farther away from the phone as several objects moved and broke in the background. “Why are you acting so surprised? I did the same thing last year.” Dave said before swearing as, what John could only assume, a jar broke on his floor. 

 

Now that Dave said it; John could remember a few more times Dave broke  _ both  _ of his arms: that time they went to the amusement park and what Rose kindly calls the “Clown Incident” happened, that time Dave and John were playing soccer and John made a goal as Dave somehow broke his arms just standing there, the other time where Dave did a sick kickflip, stuck the landing and broke his arms by skating into a wall, and just last year when Dave just walked up the stairs, arms fully working, and five minutes later; his arms are just broken. So Dave  _ has _ broken his arms  **_a lot_ ** .

 

“Huh...That does happen a lot” John came back to the current conversation he was having on the phone. He typed out a response to Jade’s chain of emoticons before talking to Dave again. 

 

“Have you talked to your doctor about that?” John tried not to be too concern, after all everytime Dave has broken his arms; he recovers at breakneck speeds. John was sure that this time it was only going to be two weeks before Dave gets his casts off.

 

“Yeah, she said it was a calcium problem.” There was a soft sweeping noise in the background before John heard the broom clatter to the ground. “After this cast is off; she’s giving me some supplements or shots or whatever it was.” Dave verbally waved off his concerns before going silent for a few seconds. 

 

“...Did you tell Jade that my arms were broken again?” Dave sounded slightly annoyed. 

 

“..No?” John snickered under his breath trying not to give himself away too badly and opened a fresh package of Scooby-Doo gummies. John glanced down at his gummy packaging; remembering how Karkat went on a tirade about how the troll version of that guy who played Shaggy ate some bad mind honey and went on a rampage. Karkat blocked him for a while after he sent him the ultimate shaggy meme.

 

“...Are you listening, egg boy?” John snapped back to the present; and accidentally smooshed his shaggy gummy...this was probably gonna bring some bad luck, John popped the flattened gummy into his mouth along with a few more of the squishy multi-colored snacks.

 

“To be honest with you; I haven’t heard a word you said until now” John opened another pack of the gummies, cause the packs were around the size of the palm of his hand, and picked out the shaggy ones. 

 

“Your sister has been sending me a broken arm emoji every minute” Dave sounded a little bit amused by this. John could hear the sound of a soda being opened in the background.

 

“I think giving her coding classes was a fucking mistake” Dave said before sipping his fresh soda. Dave had paid for half of Jade’s coding classes as a birthday gift. Jade has thanked Dave by making bots that can send emojis and links every minute; it was annoying at first but it was slowly becoming endearing... _ slowly _ .

 

“I think giving her a  _ computer  _ was a mistake” John said as he started deleting Jade’s spam messages from his notifications. 

 

Dave hummed as an answer after that the call was silent; save for the mouse clicking, keyboard tapping,vinyls being shuffled, and the sound of John munching on some sick, fucking gummies.

 

“You have any plans for tomorrow?” John tried to start conversation again because the silence was starting to get kinda weird considering Dave’s constant rambles of some weird shit he found out on the internet filled the silence most of the time.

 

“Nope, I got a set tomorrow but that’s all I have planned.” The sound of vinyl sleeves clacking softly against each other started again. “I was thinking about visiting KitKat afterwards though.” Dave added before the sound of a record being taken out of it’s sleeve dominated the sound on the other side. 

 

“So, you’re going to play a set with both of your arms broken?” John speculated as he continued a small knitting project he started in the fall, Rose had shown him how to make smaller clothes for Casey, his salamander daughter, last summer. Casey loved the sweaters that John made her, his heart swelled everytime she would make bubbles excitedly everytime he gave her a new sweater.

 

“I once did a set with only my teeth, I can handle not using my arms.” Dave countered. There was a soft crackle noise as the vinyl record Dave picked out, started to play. The slow, sad sound of the sax came over the phone. It’s melody added a nice relaxed feeling to the call.

 

“...I didn’t know you liked jazz” John smiled softly and started another row of stitches.

 

“I got a whole box of the vintage shit for .45 cents. I would go insane if I didn’t get it” the clacking noise started up again as John got a few more non-emojis responses from Jade.

 

John was soaking up the small pocket of bliss made by the jazz music when he suddenly heard something small run up the stairs. This was he’s only warning before a small, yellow blob attacked him.

 

“Dad! Dad! Dad!” His daughter Casey was always so energetic; Dave says she gets it from her aunt. 

 

“Casey, what did I sat about running in the house?” John scolded her before smiling a bit her little shoes.

 

“Sobby…” Casey’s salamander accent came back a bit as her small cute face was all scrunched up in sadness. John kissed her cheek before picking her up and putting her in his lap.

 

“It’s fine, Cas; just make sure you don’t get hurt, okay?” John smiled at his salamander daughter as her face lit up brighter than her bedazzled, neon blue sneakers.

 

“Oktay!” Casey smiled and started to snack on some of the leftover shaggy gummies; kicking her small feet excitedly. Her overalls and baby blue shirt were covered in dirt, she would need a bath soon but for now; John was going to enjoy his daughter’s company for a bit.

 

“Unble Dave!” Casey screeched in excitement when she saw Dave’s name on his phone. John remembered he was still in a call with him, before his little ball of sunshine came into his room.

 

“Hey Cas” John could hear Dave’s smile through the phone. Dave loved Casey, he babysat her everytime John couldn’t be with Casey for a prolonged period of time. Casey loved spending time with her uncle; coming home with a big smile on her face and a handful of bird feathers.

 

John couldn’t ask for a better life and as Casey and Dave started to talk about Dave’s broken arms. John drifted off slowly, going dozing off with the sounds of his own pocket of heaven played in the background.

**Author's Note:**

> Why did Casey come in at the end? I honestly couldn’t tell you.
> 
> Some stuff about Casey I wanted to include  
> -she goes to school  
> -she spends a lot of time with Rose and Dave. She would spend more time with Jade but Jade is usually busy with witch business, that’s why she has bots pester her friends sometimes  
> -The trolls know about Casey but they aren’t her aunts and uncles (except Karkat)  
> -Casey won’t get a pesterchum till she’s older  
> -I know Casey probably wouldn’t live that long but in my happy world, she lives forever by becoming a dark warlock  
> -Casey is around 5 in human years; she goes to school but she doesn’t know that many English words
> 
> I headcanon that Dave has a few medical issues, like low calcium, that don’t fuck his shit up monumentally but makes shit hard for him to do  
> I also just realized that Dave has a metric fuckton of bad luck no matter where you put him
> 
> In this “au” I made all the usual homestuck stuff happens but instead of death and angst it’s just boo boos and teenage pettyness. It’s like a family edit of homestuck tbh, because I’m a wimp who can’t handle sadness.
> 
> I tried to hint at Johndave in this but maybe I’ll just do a small timeskip to when they get married and live in a bigger house together in another fic
> 
> Anyway, drink water and kick flip off a trashcan; don’t forget to comment if you think I need to improve and kudos if you liked my fic! Bye <3!


End file.
